A Prayer for the Brokenhearted

I saw a Facebook post today that has completely shifted the way I think about earthly suffering. In the post (you can see it here), the writer described how Mary, mother of Jesus, was the ultimate example of God giving and taking away, of trusting that the pain was all for something greater. As I ponder on this, just days away from Christmas and the celebration of Christ’s birth, I wonder what Mary’s prayers might have been. From the moment she became pregnant, she knew Jesus was sent to do something great. She knew he ultimately belonged to God, not her.

And yet, he was still her son. She still loved him more than life itself. I don’t have children yet, but I have often heard that losing a child is the worst pain imaginable, and I believe that. Even as someone who has lost my parents, I cannot imagine the level of pain that would come with losing my children. My heart breaks for everyone who has felt it, especially those dealing with that loss this time of year. Grieving through the holidays—and any day—is incredibly painful, and I have no doubt Mary knew exactly what that feels like. It makes me wonder, what would Mary’s prayers have been? How would the mother of Christ have cried out to the Lord in the midst of her deepest grief?

I wish we knew. I wish we had her perspective on the life and loss of Jesus. I know there is so much we could learn from her about suffering and being brokenhearted. While I do not know her exact thoughts, I do know this: Mary was faithful, even when she was hurting, confused, and afraid. Her faithfulness is what won her favor with God in order to carry Jesus in the first place, and it was her faithfulness that I am sure carried her through losing him.

I commend and admire her for this. It is so hard to remain faithful, to continue trusting in God, when it seems as though He has taken so much from you. It feels nearly impossible some days to even pray when all you want to do is get mad. What a lesson we can learn from Mary in those moments! Even after Jesus was crucified, she continued to be part of his ministry. She walked with John, as Jesus entrusted him with her care, and Acts 1:14 tells us she was present with the disciples after Christ’s ascension into heaven. Mary, in the wake of what was arguably her greatest loss, remained faithful to God. She trusted that her pain was being used for a greater purpose, one that she may not have even understood at the time. What might the world look like if we all had faith like Mary? What might God be able to use us for if we could trust Him as she did?

Again this makes me ask: what did she pray? What were the conversations with God that walked her through her grief and helped her to remain faithful? More than that, what can we pray in our own painful moments? What will keep us faithful? How can we talk to God in a way that honors both our pain and His sovereignty?

This will look a bit different for everyone, as we all have our own unique circumstances and relationship with Him. However, I also know that sometimes praying is hard, or at least it feels hard (after all, we do have a way of overcomplicating things that were not meant to be difficult). Maybe you or someone you love is in a place like Mary where you are hurting, confused, and brokenhearted. I remember times when I was there, when I desperately needed God but didn’t always know what to say to Him or how to express all that I was feeling. So if that’s you, please keep reading for a prayer that you can say to help you remain faithful, find strength, and still be real about how you’re feeling.

There is something important to note about prayer before we begin: often times, we are praying for things that we cannot see happening. In fact, in moments of deep pain, I would often pray things over myself that I didn’t even fully believe. Let’s just be honest about this: it is hard to tell God you are trusting in Him when the last thing you feel is faithful. When you are drowning in despair, it sometimes feels nearly impossible to honestly tell God (or anyone else) that you have hope in the fact that He works all things for good. But here is the great thing about prayer: it isn’t just to say all the things you already believe in; it’s also to speak over yourself what you want to believe in.

Prayer is a way for us to deepen our faith by speaking out the depths of our desires so that the Lord may fulfill them. When I say “desires,” I don’t mean to imply that God is some sort of genie granting all of our wishes. Rather, I mean that in seasons of heartbreak, we long for hope, comfort, strength, etc. Those longings are what we must cry out for in prayer, knowing that even if we don’t feel hopeful or strong now, we can rest assured that the Lord will fill that gap as we continue to seek Him.

So, how can you do this? What can you pray in order to seek comfort from Him when you feel no hope, no strength, no peace? It all starts with being true to how you’re feeling and telling God about it, and then asking Him to fill up what has been emptied within you. It really is that simple!

If you still aren’t sure what to pray, or maybe you just lack the mental energy to do it on your own, simply pray this:

Heavenly Father,

I am hurting right now. Every part of me aches under the weight of this grief, this brokenness. I don’t understand why you have allowed me to be in such pain, but I desperately need you to free me of it. The burdens of this world are not mine to carry, and yet I am drowning beneath this one. Stand with me, father; help me carry it.

I need your strength right now. I am at the end of myself; I have nothing left in me that can provide what I need to move out of this brokenness. Your word says that nothing in all creation can separate us from your love. Help me to believe this. Make it real to me, so that I may know you are here, even in the depths of my pain. I place my hope in you Lord, that you may renew my strength. Lift me up to soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.

Help me find the faith to believe that my present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed. What glory will come from this? It feels as though nothing good will come out of my pain, but I know your word says you will work all things for my good, Lord. I am choosing to believe it, even when I cannot see or feel it. I am hoping for what I do not yet have, and I ask that you give me an overflow of peace and comfort as I wait for the glory that is surely coming. Be with me, Lord. Lift me up, heal my wounds, and do not let my pain be for nothing.

In your name I pray,

Amen.

I hope this prayer brings you some hope and comfort, and if all else fails, remember that Holy Spirit has your back even when you don’t know what to pray! The Lord has gifted us with a great companion (read more about this in my post on loneliness), and as Paul tells us in Romans 8:26, “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” So even in moments when we do not know what to pray, or maybe we just don’t want to pray, the Holy Spirit is still working on our behalf. I believe that alone is such proof that the Lord never leaves us—that there is truly nothing, not even ourselves, that can separate us from His love!

I appreciate you so much for reading this far and supporting this blog! I pray for peace, comfort, joy, and blessings over you and your family this holiday season.

Merry Christmas!