Battling Perfectionism: What does it mean to be perfect?

In my last post, I unpacked why I believe we strive so hard to be perfect. I do it in part because of the instability I faced growing up. More than that, I have whole lot of self-imposed expectations I’m working through. My battle with perfectionism started at a young age, and I’m only just now beginning to take some ground. The first crucial step for me was understanding why it has been such a struggle; the next is learning what perfection is—according to God.

What I have learned about perfectionism is that it is fleeting. Nothing that we do to achieve perfection here on Earth will actually last. But when we get into the rut of perfectionism, it becomes impossible to have an eternal mindset. Instead, we become focused on what we are doing in order to make our current life as perfect as possible. It’s so easy to forget about eternal glory when your entire identity is wrapped up in your current image. We will never be able to shift our focus and come into a new identity if we continue to approach “perfect” from a worldly perspective.

We have a broken understanding of what it means to be perfect. If our understanding were whole, then us perfectionists wouldn’t be in a constant state of striving only to mess up in the end. If you are someone who focuses a little too much on being perfect–and maybe not enough on the eternal glory you were made for–then keep reading. I pray that when you finish, you will have more complete knowledge of what God says is perfect!

A Perfect Heart

The Bible is very clear that, while man might care about outward appearance, God focuses on the heart. One of my favorite examples of this is in 1 Samuel 16. Samuel has gone to Jesse to anoint one of his sons as the next king. As all the sons but David are called up, Samuel makes a judgment based on appearance. He assumes that, because of his great stature, Jesse’s son Eliab must be the next king. But God corrects him, saying, “‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV). This is just one of many examples in scripture where the Lord makes His priority clear. He will assess our hearts, nothing else.

This says a lot about what “perfect” means to God. He has no interest in our outward appearance, nor our accomplishments. David had done nothing but watch over sheep his entire life, yet his heart was for the Lord. That is why he was called to be king.

Matthew 5 gives us another glimpse into what God sees as perfection:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Matthew 5:43-48, NIV

The Greek word for perfect in this passage is teleios. It means “of mind and character, one who has reached the proper height of virtue and integrity” (read a full breakdown of teleios here). Yet again, we see that perfection has nothing to do with what we look like, the kind of house we have, how we perform at school or work, etc. Instead, it has everything to do with who we are as people. Are we virtuous? Do we live with integrity? These are the questions we need to ask as we seek perfection under God.

The Perfection of the Word

Our priority should always be to make our heart, mind, and character in line with what the Bible says. The nice thing about the Bible is that it doesn’t just stop with get your heart right.” We have a book full of instructions on how to do this! That’s one reason why it’s so important to read your Bible and know the Word of God. It is literally our guidebook to perfection.

Not only is it our guidebook, but it is perfect in and of itself. It is a beautiful example of the perfection God.

Your word, Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations you established the earth, and it endures. Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts. The wicked are waiting to destroy me, but I will ponder your statutes. To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless.

Psalm 119:89-96, NIV

Earthly perfection has limits, but God’s word is the only perfect thing that will endure forever. It is so crucial for us to remember that nothing on earth is eternal. The Word of God is literally the only thing we have on this side of heaven that will go with us into eternity. If we spend more time perfecting our house than we do in the Word, then we will miss out on so much the Lord has for us. Remember, you were made for glory (just read Romans 8!). Nothing we do or don’t do here on earth can change that, so we might as well spend our time focused on what really matters!

There is nothing wrong with wanting a nice house or trying to be good at your job, but that shouldn’t be the ultimate goal of your life. We will one day spend eternity in heaven, and I think studying the perfect Word or God is the closest thing to living in that glory that we will get here on earth.

Perfectionism Discredits Christ’s Sacrifice

This has probably been the most life changing revelation for me out of this whole study I’ve done!

Perfection, like many things we do, is often a form of deception. We live in a culture that is hyper focused on projecting a “Pinterest-worthy” life, which makes us feel forced to portray an image of ourselves that isn’t entirely honest. Perfection will never be the true image of who we are, yet we want people to believe that it is. The truth is that humans are not perfect beings. If we were, there would be no reason for a Savior. It was the work of the cross that makes us truly perfect, as the Bible tells us in Hebrews 10:14:

“For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”

Hebrews 10:14, NIV

I encourage you to read the entirety of Hebrews 10 and take the time to unpack it, because wow is it an incredible chapter of scripture!

One thing is made very clear in the verse above: It is through Christ’s sacrifice alone that we are made perfect. Thayer’s Greek Lexicon (provided by Blue Letter Bible) defines the use of “made perfect” in this verse beautifully: “to raise to the state of heavenly blessedness those who put their faith in the expiatory death of Christ,” and further, “to make one, meet for future entrance on this state and give him a sure hope of it even here on earth” (you can read the full entry here).

In other words, when Jesus died on the cross, he not only took on the payment for our sins, but also provided a way for us to rise up to a state that is worthy of entering heaven. And in heaven, there is nothing but perfection in the eyes of God. There is no striving necessary, because Christ has made us perfect through the shedding of his blood. When we continue to seek earthly perfection, we discredit the sacrifice he made for us so that we would never have to strive again.

Imagine this: You have just been pulled from the brink of death by a highly trained lifeguard whose sole purpose is to prevent you from drowning. They risk their own life to jump into dangerous waters and save you, pull you out, perform CPR, and you take a great breath of air.

And then you jump right back in the water that was drowning you.

How silly would that be? You know you can’t swim in it, you know you will fail on your own, yet instead of staying with the lifeguard who saved you, you jump back in and try to do it on your own.

I think this is what we do with Christ, not just when it comes to perfectionism, but in all aspects of life. There is so much he has already taken care of for us, yet we continue to try and do it ourselves. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s what we do. We know we can’t be perfect without Him, yet we think, “well maybe if I work a little harder, put in a few more hours, prove myself a little bit more—maybe then I will be perfect.”

It will never happen. And so long as we think we can make it happen, we will be discrediting and dishonoring the sacrifice of the Lamb of God, the sacrifice made so that we would never have to try and achieve the impossible on our own.

Perfection is what the Bible says it is, not what our social media-driven culture makes us believe it is. If we understand the way that God defines perfection and let go of our own standards, we will see so much freedom! So how do we do it? How do we actually let go of those standards? This is exactly what I will be unpacking in the third and final part of Battling Perfectionism. Next week we will look at some practical steps to let go of perfectionism, so make sure you sign up for my newsletter so you don’t miss it!