Battling Perfectionism: 8 Practical Steps to Overcome Perfectionism

Welcome to the third and final part of the “Battling Perfectionism” series! If you haven’t read part one or part two, make sure to check those out before you continue with this one! In this last installment, we will be looking at eight practical tips to help you overcome perfectionism. Some are more difficult than others, but I have already worked through almost all of these myself, so I can say from personal experience that they do help!

1. Spend more time with God.

This should be the natural first step for everything that we do! If you are battling anything, your first response should be to go before the Lord. Scripture emphasizes the importance of spending time with God over and over again, but there are two verses in particular that I want to point out to you.

This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible, and it’s such an important concept to remember in every aspect of life. If we seek the Kingdom first, everything else will be added to us. Which means we don’t have to worry about being perfect, because as long as we are pursuing Christ first and foremost, everything else in our life will fall into place. We don’t have to worry about what we look like, what others think of us, or even what we will eat!

I cannot express enough how important it is to dive into the Word of God at all times, but especially when you are trying to overcome a stumbling block in your life. This verse in 2 Timothy makes it so clear that it is the Word that teaches, corrects, and rebukes. But I think one of the most important parts about this verse within this conversation about perfectionism is “training in righteousness.” Part of being righteous is not being a slave to anything of this world, and that includes perfectionism! God’s definition of perfect is so different from ours (read my last post for more on this), so we need to study the Bible and know what the Lord says about being perfect rather than agreeing with what the world says.

2. Align yourself with Biblical standards.

This goes along with tip number one, but it adds a little bit on top of just spending time with the Lord. If perfectionism is a big struggle of yours, then part of the problem is likely that you are too aligned with the world’s standards and not enough with God’s. As humans, we tend to align ourselves with the standards of the world around us. It’s just so easy to do when our minds get flooded with a worldly viewpoint all the time. The difficult thing to do is align yourself with the standards the Lord gives us. But if you make the decision to chase the standards of God and flee those of this world, it will change your entire identity.

So how do you do that? A big step to help is to eliminate—or at least limit—social media. I have found that when I am going through an especially difficult bout of perfectionism, getting off of social media for a while helps so much. That is a huge source of worldly standards, so taking that out of your life can help a ton! And if you’re someone who needs the science behind it, here’s a great article about how social media feeds perfectionism!

I think another important thing to do is to pray for a renewal of your mind and heart. Ask the Lord to cleanse you of the standards you have been holding onto and replace them with His standards. And then whenever you feel one of those ungodly expectations creeping up on you, pray right there in the moment and ask God to reshape your mind to see His standard in that situation!

3. Have reasonable expectations, and assign someone to hold you accountable to them.

Along with biblical standards, you also need to have realistic expectations of yourself. Take note of what is going on in your life, what your capacity is, and what actually makes sense for you to be able to do. When you approach creating expectations from this angle, it makes it easier to be realistic with yourself. It’s sort of like taking inventory of your food before going grocery shopping. If you already know what you have, you’ll only buy what you need instead of purchasing lots of extra things that could already be at home or that you just don’t have a use for.

You can apply the same concept to the areas of you life that tend to draw out your perfectionism. When you are looking at how to clean your house, what projects to take on at work, or any other area where perfectionism tends to take over, I have found that being very practical and assessing my capacity helps me a ton.

A very important part of this is accountability! Find someone in your life who can help you walk through that assessment process with you and not let you take on more than you can realistically accomplish. And once you’ve set those expectations, give someone permission to hold you to it and let you know when they see you trying to do more in order to make it “perfect.” Be honest with yourself and recognize that if you could hold yourself accountable, you probably already would be!

4. Accept help.

This goes past just having an accountability partner (although that is definitely a way to accept help!). I think a classic sign of a perfectionist is when you refuse to accept help from anyone—even when you feel like you’re drowning—out of fear of others thinking you aren’t capable of handling things on your own. If this is the case for you, then a good step to overcome perfectionism is to actually accept help.

This can be so difficult to do, but it’s important to remind ourselves that God never intended for anyone to do life on their own! In fact, there are multiple times in the Bible when the Lord recognizes that humanity is always worse off when we try to do everything on our own. Having people around you to lift you up and help you when you stumble is crucial to being successful in life.

5. Give yourself intentional imperfections.

This might sound a little weird, but let me give you an example. I have extremely high standards of cleanliness, especially for my house. When people come to visit, those standards tend to grow to an even more unreasonable level. I tend to go into a “power clean” mode and try to get every last speck of dust to disappear before anyone comes to my house.

Lately, as I have been trying to overcome my perfectionism, I will choose to leave something undone. This could be not vacuuming, leaving a basket of unfolded laundry on top of the dryer, or not cleaning the pan that’s sitting on the stove. It usually isn’t anything too major, but I have tried to leave an intentional imperfection so that my mind starts to realize that people aren’t going to hate me for it. This is just a very simple way to start slowly chipping away at that perfectionist mindset, and it’s something you can implement right now!

6. Let go of false humility.

Perfectionism breeds false humility. Something I have noticed about myself is that, because I want so desperately to do everything well, I tend to preface things that I feel like I’m not perfect at with something along the lines of “I’m not the best at this” or “this really isn’t my strong suit.” While there is nothing inherently bad with these statements, there is something wrong with the intention behind them.

If you are saying it in order to allow someone else—with the grace on their life to accomplish that thing—do it instead of you, I believe that is a righteous thing to do. However, if you do it because you want to lower the expectation others have of you, I think it becomes a form of false humility. And while it might give the appearance of “letting you off the hook” so you don’t have to be perfect, it really is just reinforcing the need to be perfect. Adjusting this mindset and removing those statements from your life could be a big step towards overcoming perfectionism!

7. Get your priorities straight.

What is most important in your life? Is it to make a lot of money? Climb to the top at your job? Have the most Pinterest-worthy home? If any of these are at the top of your priority list, then perfectionism is probably controlling your life in one way or another. Is there anything wrong with desiring to be successful at work? Absolutely not! But when that desire overtake your commitment to serving the Lord, it becomes an issue.

If our relationship with God sinks below the other aspects of our life, we will almost certainly become controlled by our desire for acknowledgement. That’s one of the roots of perfectionism, in my opinion. The innate human desire to be acknowledged for who we are and what we have accomplished. If we don’t seek God first, then we won’t receive our approval from Him, which leads us down the path of trying to find it anywhere and everywhere else. So assess your priorities in life, and if God isn’t number one, then fix that!

8. Go to therapy.

Sometimes, we just need professional help. There is no getting around that. God created amazing people with a unique ability to understand how human minds and emotions operate, and we would be fools not to take advantage of that! If you have tried to overcome your perfectionism on your own and can’t seem to get past it, it may be time to seek help from someone who probably knows more about what’s going in your brain than you do. In my completely unprofessional opinion, I think perfectionism could definitely be a sign of some underlying issues, so talking to a professional might be exactly what you need!

What other tips do you have for overcoming perfectionism? Let me know in the comments!